I’ve been dealing with impostor syndrome when it comes to my desire to blog for a long time. Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? There are so many people out there who explain the same things I do, probably better – who cares about me? I don’t look like a blogger. Bloggers have time to go to the salon. I got my first haircut in a year and a half last July. They get pretty pictures taken, with their Pinterest-perfect outfits and perfectly coifed hair and hands wrapped around a mug of tea. I’m a somewhat overweight early 30s first-time mom with thrift store jeans and a hastily-pulled together ponytail. Heck, I have impostor syndrome in my motherhood too.
There are days when I stare at my daughter and wonder who thought it was a good idea to let me be a mom. I’m not a bad mom – my daughter is happy, healthy, clean, and fed. I love her to pieces. But there are definitely days when I look at her and think “Where did you come from?!” Seriously – I’m not even sure I’m supposed to be an adult.
The good news in this situation – we all feel that way sometimes. So let’s discuss a few ways we can move past the feelings of insecurity that impostor syndrome tends to bring.
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Step away from the social media
Stop comparing yourself to what you’re seeing on Pinterest or Facebook or Instagram or your favorite blogs. Those aren’t real life.
All those people you enjoy following? They’ve had that experience of getting puked on by their kids. You know how many of those people are going to put that experience on their feed? It doesn’t matter what filter you put on it, that isn’t going to mesh well.
Take fifteen minutes to clean your space
I don’t know about you, but my worst encounters with impostor syndrome always occur when my house is a mess. The good news is there is a very simple solution – clean your house up some. It may be that things have spiraled out of control way beyond what you can get done in fifteen minutes – but do what will make the biggest impact. Pick up the living room. Clean off the kitchen counters. Get the dishes done. Just take a few minutes to feel better about your space.
Remember: everyone feels this way
Seriously, everyone. I bet even Beyonce occasionally feels guilty and like she’s an impostor with her own kids because she has nannies to change all those diapers for her. That one mom you know, who always has on a cute outfit and makeup and her hair always looks brushed? She feels the same way.
Focus on what’s important
Cuddle with your kids for a minute. Read a book with them. Take them to the park. Because ultimately, they’re not going to remember if you had the house perfectly clean or your hair was brushed. They’re going to remember that you took the time to do things with them. That’s what’s important. Teaching your kids to be good people, to treat others with kindness and respect? That’s important. Don’t focus on the outward things. Remember to focus on the inward.
This whole “motherhood” thing is a rough journey, no matter how you stumbled into it. You aren’t going to be a picture-perfect mother every day. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. Just take time to love your kids, and enjoy your life, and if that means dinner is chicken nuggets and mac and cheese with nothing green in sight – well, try not to make it a habit, but it’s not that big of a deal. Give yourself grace.
If you’ve ever had impostor syndrome (it doesn’t necessarily need to be motherhood-related!), what helped you move past it?